New York Online Dating

Online Dating Myths

Once the myths are dispelled, New York online dating can be a great way to meet people in the city!

My single brother was lamenting his bachelorhood, but he was also a little wary of the New York City dating scene. He had had his share of blind-dates, bars, singles dances, etc... He was ready to find someone with whom he could develop a long-term relationship, but he felt that he had exhausted his options. Someone mentioned the possibility of a New York online dating service to which replied that "only losers use those things." My friend convinced him he was wrong and challenged him to just give it a try. After all, what did he have to lose? So, my brother found a service aligned with some of his interests and put up his profile. Within a few months, and after emailing a few people, he began emailing a certain girl he thought might be a good match. Eventually they agreed to meet for lunch and, as they say, the rest was history. They have been married for almost two years and going strong.

Myth #1: Online dating services are only for people who can't get dates.

When my brother told me about the girl he met, he was reluctant to tell me how they met. He was a little embarrassed that he had to use a service to meet someone. I told him not to be embarrassed at all! In fact, I think smart people will use all the resources they can. Going about meeting someone this way allowed him to filter out girls he knew he would have nothing in common with without having to waste two more years of his life going on dates just to discover that. Additionally, after listening to his experience, I checked out some of the sites myself and saw all kinds of people who I would definitely not categorize as "losers." There seemed to be a smattering of every kind of person you can think of -- especially divorcees or widows and widowers who hadn't been in the dating world for a long time and were just trying to get their feet wet on the New York online dating circuit. Many people have discovered the benefits of meeting people this way.

Myth #2: Looks don't really matter

The human animal uses its sense of sight as well as any other animal when it comes to attraction. It's just a fact of life. Posting an honest picture of yourself is important. If you don't look like Halle Berry, it's important you don't represent yourself as such. Eventually you may actually meet the person with whom you are in contact and it would make for an extremely awkward moment if you had been less than truthful about your appearance. That being said, it's not necessary to post your least attractive pictures either. Nor is it necessary to list the location and description of every scar you have or that one of your feet is larger than the other. Giving someone a chance to make a fair assessment of you is part of the game we all have to play, just as you will be searching for people that you find attractive. Even though, in conversation, most women will tell you they are just looking for a "nice guy," they will post that they are looking for a "good-looking guy" in their profiles. While looks certainly aren't the only thing, they are important.

Myth #3: Online dating services cost too much

The average cost is about $30 per month. This fee allows you access to the sight and the use of their personality test in order to match you with similar people. Compare this to the average cost of just one date with one person you may or may not go out with again which means another first date and more money spent. This way you get to spend as much time as you would like searching for and/or getting to know people for a lot less money than having four first dates in one month. There are some sights which don't charge anything, but people who are willing to pay to use a sight are probably more serious about the process anyway.

Myth #4: Online dating is not safe.

People wonder about their safety. Everyone knows the dangers of connecting with people on the internet. Just as in the real world, you have to be careful and take precautions. Just as you should never give a guy you just met at the bar your home address, specific work information, and birthday, this is information you keep to yourself on the internet as well. The online dating services have safety measures in place to help insure your safety as well. There are filters which keep you in total control of your personal information and guidelines to remind you about what you should and should not do when communicating via the internet.

Online dating can be a positive experience and many people have had great success. Once you realize that this is just a new and improved way to meet people, you can resolve your worries and get out there. Maybe you'll be the next success story!

-Ella Riez for AllNY.com

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