How to Reignite Your Relationship

New York Dating Advice

This article in our New York dating advice series reveals ways to put the spark back into your relationship.

Every relationship unfortunately hits a plateau at some point. There will simply come a time while dating when things aren't as touchy-feely with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You still love each other, but your relationship has cooled down from the original passionate flame when you began your relationship. The feelings are there, but the romance is not. Or maybe just the sex drive has just become somewhat lackluster. You may be upset that your relationship has reached a plateau, and you might even worry about the relationship ending. A plateau in anything (relationships, weight loss, writer's block) can be pushed past and your original passion can be restored. Here are a few suggestions that can bring back the flame in your relationship.

Unexpected Gift at an Unexpected time

In the 2000 movie "Finding Forrester," Sean Conner tells Rob Brown that "the key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time." This holds true not just in the movie, but in life as well. Anyone can give a present at Christmas, or a birthday, or some other special occasion. But giving a gift out of the blue makes right now a special occasion! If you want to be really cute, and score not only points but an almost guaranteed "aww!" and a kiss, when they ask "what's the special occasion" you could answer "being here with you." (Actually... don't. They might have just read this article and will know where you got it from... or they might have dated me before and have already heard the line!)

Romantic Gestures

A gift is not the only romantic way that you can impress your significant other. Anything that your partner finds "romantic" is something you should do. Surprise her with a home cooked dinner (or, if you can't even make a grilled cheese without burning it, make reservations at a nice restaurant). Women love a guy who can cook. If you have this ability, use it to your advantage. If you don't, have a couple of romantic restaurants on speed dial. (After all, isn't that one of the perks of living and dating in New York? All the romantic restaurants and venues.)

You might also come up with a sweet date that your significant other wouldn't normally expect. If she has been super stressed at work lately, you can arrange for a couples massage (or better yet, give her a nice massage yourself!). If her favorite band is coming to town, you can buy the best tickets you can afford! You can also plan a special day together. You can take her on a date that you particularly loved when you first began dating.

A Special Mini-Vacation

Technically, a mini-vacation falls as a romantic gesture, but a mini-vacation deserves special emphasis because a mini-vacation can do so much for a relationship! When a full vacation may not always be afford either the money or the time like going to Disney for you may afford to go on some very romantic mini-vacations. Just go away for a single weekend.

Within a few hours of New York City, you can find plenty of romantic getaways. Drive a few hours away and get a room at a small bed and breakfast at the road. You can go to a nearby one-day amusement park like Cedar Point or Six Flags. You can even take her someplace beautiful like the Catskills and keep the place as a surprise. Let the anticipation build until you see that gorgeous sunset on the horizon of a crystal blue lake.

These mini-vacations are important because a) they help you both unwind from the stress of the week. b) Even if only for a day or two, you get away from all the noise and distractions that being home can create. c) You are getting away from it together... in a secluded place (the more remote the better)! Which brings us to...

Be More Creative in Bed

Unless you have sat with the Kama Sutra every night and tried every position, you can find some fun ways to spice up your time together. Don't do anything that you're not both comfortable with, of course, but try something new. Maybe you saw or heard about something that might be cool. Maybe she has a secret desire. Whatever it is, there are many ways to spice things up in the bedroom that can (and should) be tried. You can experiment and have some fun to add more romance to your time together.


Ok, no couple wants to be told that counseling may be needed, but sometimes couples just do! If you have tried everything else in this article and nothing's worked, you may want to consider seeing a counselor. Sometimes we just need a little help to deal with a problem. If it seems that you are not able to find ways to talk about your problems, you may welcome the objective mediation of a counselor.

-Ella Riez for

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